1
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,080
This is a VCA pictures presentation.

2
00:03:11,950 --> 00:03:12,950
Do you see that?

3
00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:15,690
Do you see what our competition is up
to?

4
00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:17,190
Yes, MJ.

5
00:03:17,390 --> 00:03:20,150
They made $6 billion with that film.

6
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$6 billion.

7
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My, my.

8
00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:27,050
Of course, they spent $7 billion in
legal fees.

9
00:03:27,910 --> 00:03:29,050
But do you know why?

10
00:03:30,490 --> 00:03:32,270
Social redeeming value.

11
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That is why I brought you two together.

12
00:03:35,630 --> 00:03:39,150
The two greatest male and female
screenwriters in the business.

13
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,540
Give me social redeeming value.

14
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Lillian Melman, I would like you to meet
Scott Great.

15
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How do you do?

16
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,000
How do you do?

17
00:03:52,740 --> 00:03:54,120
How do you do?

18
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:55,360
How do you do?

19
00:03:55,720 --> 00:04:00,780
Now, you two are going to create the
greatest love story ever put on film.

20
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Heart.

21
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Passion.

22
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Lust.

23
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Sentiment.

24
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And mainly a lot of fucking.

25
00:04:10,610 --> 00:04:11,630
Mr. Hertzberger.

26
00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:13,650
Oh, hey, don't be shocked, Susie.

27
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Milton J. Hertzberger is the greatest
producer movies have ever known.

28
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And why?

29
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Because I try harder.

30
00:04:23,970 --> 00:04:27,890
Now, Lillian and Scott, let's hear your
ideas.

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The greatest love story ever told.

32
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We combine our inimitable talents.

33
00:04:33,870 --> 00:04:35,550
It'll just be another fuck film.

34
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Not with Rinaldo Rutelici directing.

35
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The world's greatest director?

36
00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,800
It'll just be another funk film.

37
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A love story must be told in graphic
detail.

38
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A kiss is the basic ingredient. Watch
carefully.

39
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Oh, my love.

40
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Kiss me, kiss me. It's been years.

41
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Oh,

42
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I yearn for you.

43
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Fondling cannot be suggested.

44
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It must be passionate.

45
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She responds with tender caresses.

46
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The removal of clothing must be
motivated But no camera time should be

47
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We could have them coming in from the
rain.

48
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But the most important thing is that the
lovers discover each other's bodies.

49
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It'll just be another fuck film.

50
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Thor play should be reciprocal.

51
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,300
It'll just be another function.

52
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Uh, at the, uh, right moment before he
loses his load, uh, the love must be

53
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consummated in the classical way.

54
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:03,360
Oh, at last.

55
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Now, down to the nitty gritty.

56
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Oh.

57
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I am impressed.

58
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These are my writers.

59
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Are?

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Together, you three shall create a great
American masterpiece.

61
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Wait a minute.

62
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Just a second.

63
00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:07,890
You pay Rinaldo Rutalici $10 million to
make a great American movie.

64
00:13:08,230 --> 00:13:11,570
What kind of great American movie you
have in mind?

65
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Well, you... Don't talk. Do not explain.

66
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Rinaldo Rutalici, smell the rat.

67
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A raunch movie.

68
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But they don't make westerns at
Monumental Studios.

69
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What do you mean, Susie? Wait, let me
explain.

70
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No explanation necessary. Oh, please,
please.

71
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I make you the great fuck film.

72
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It will be sort of a virgin effort for
me, but I will need to see some

73
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No sooner said than done. Sherman, roll
reel 14.

74
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Just watch the screen.

75
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Ray, good buddy.

76
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This is the story of a frustrated
housewife who meets the window washer.

77
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This is everyday American occurrence.

78
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No, no, usually it's the milkman.

79
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He has a heroic flair.

80
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She looks undernourished.

81
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He's going to feed her any minute.

82
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Where is the dialogue?

83
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Hey, how can you talk with your mouth
full?

84
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Does she call that a cocksucking?

85
00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:42,990
No technique, like a baby with a
lollipop.

86
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This is no deep throat.

87
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Is no deep plot, either.

88
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:11,260
No, no, no. That is not a very good
camera angle.

89
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Who wants to look at his hairy bottom?

90
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That is a nice camera angle. I make note
of the position of the camera angle.

91
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Yes, but make note of the body angle.

92
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Only we need better bodies.

93
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These people, they look like they come
from the welfare office.

94
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That girl looks more like a malnutrition
dick of them than a love goddess.

95
00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:55,940
Well, what do you think? I think we can
do better in our sleep.

96
00:16:56,620 --> 00:17:00,420
It's only the second type of picture I
see, and it was worse than the first

97
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:01,840
What was wrong with it?

98
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Nothing. Nothing at all. It's making me
jerk off.

99
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There was this girl.

100
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She was preparing to do some home
repairs.

101
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While her little sister in the next room
was doing her homework.

102
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Someone who looked a good deal like me
as a teenager approached Big Sister.

103
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And some fellow helped the other two
girls with their studies.

104
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Thank you.

105
00:19:57,870 --> 00:20:02,550
Then another beauty approached me. I
mean, the young man.

106
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Naturally, he helped the damsels in
distress.

107
00:20:06,990 --> 00:20:09,510
Oh, they studied hard.

108
00:20:10,170 --> 00:20:14,290
It wasn't easy to figure out what they
had on their minds.

109
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Sociologically, they all had been
pricked by the fickle finger of fate.

110
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It's amazing that so many people have
the same ideas at the same time.

111
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Oh, I didn't like it at all. It made me
so hot.

112
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So, what was wrong with that?

113
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Well,

114
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you see, I could not get the spots out
of the pants. They stayed dirty. And the

115
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plot, it was so weak.

116
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That's what we're here for.

117
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Strong plots.

118
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Erotic truth.

119
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It'll just be another fuck film.

120
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Well, let's hear ideas.

121
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It's time for a story conference.

122
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Stories have never been good enough.

123
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But our heroine should be the typical
housewife.

124
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Sweet, innocent, see now, charming girl.

125
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But dressed a bit suggestive.

126
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The hair color is wrong for the dress.

127
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Milton, Milton, how can you say such a
thing? And you, Lillian, she no got no

128
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dress on. What are you doing to my
picture?

129
00:25:29,540 --> 00:25:31,840
The movie's running a long time with no
flesh.

130
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What difference the hair color when she
got no dress on?

131
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This is not American custom, is it? She
can't be nude.

132
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Well, give her an apron.

133
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Then her husband comes home from a hard
day at the office.

134
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What would he think of finding her in
the nude?

135
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Give her a good explanation.

136
00:25:50,180 --> 00:25:51,920
But would he believe it?

137
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Too much dialogue.

138
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Get to the good part.

139
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Yeah, get his clothes off, too.

140
00:25:56,700 --> 00:25:58,340
Hi, honey. Have a nice day?

141
00:25:58,580 --> 00:25:59,580
Sure.

142
00:25:59,820 --> 00:26:01,780
Where's the social redeeming value?

143
00:26:02,660 --> 00:26:05,100
That's your problem. Just get to the
good stuff.

144
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Get on with it.

145
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:10,720
Now, why don't you people knock it off,
huh? We can handle this ourselves.

146
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,080
It's been a really hot day, you know?

147
00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:16,080
I know the air conditioning isn't
working.

148
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,820
Well, you think you could find something
to cool me off?

149
00:26:19,060 --> 00:26:20,060
Oh, sure.

150
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:10,580
I think that the heroine needs more
maturity and more sex appeal.

151
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,360
It could be a more sensitive type.

152
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:18,260
A more mature type that the audience can
identify with. That's what we need.

153
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,660
But what are you talking about, Milton?

154
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,840
There are not enough men in her life.

155
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:15,240
The one man means nothing. Now, what
about the butcher and the baker? We need

156
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,080
men, lots of men, different kinds of
men.

157
00:31:59,690 --> 00:32:00,690
Oh.

158
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,840
A house, a wife, a movie is not what I
want to make.

159
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None.

160
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:56,820
All right, picture as I do a young girl
doing experiments of a scientific

161
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nature.

162
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A teacher appears and wants to help them
with their homework.

163
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What they accomplish may change the
course of history.

164
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She's young, clean -cut, eager to plumb
the depths of human experience.

165
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Her girlfriend has an intense thirst for
knowledge.

166
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Together they enter into research on the
subject at hand.

167
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The twists and turns of the plot must be
handled delicately.

168
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:26,280
To reach the climax, of course, would be
a give -and -take situation.

169
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:31,220
The girls will reach their goal after a
lot of hard work.

170
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:50,640
This subject does not intrigue me. I
think what we have to do is to find a

171
00:37:54,500 --> 00:37:56,520
Gary Goods is answering his new
discovery.

172
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:58,080
Well, send them in.

173
00:37:58,340 --> 00:37:59,720
A new discovery.

174
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,100
This may be just what you... Yes, this
may be just what you need.

175
00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:04,320
Here we go.

176
00:38:06,580 --> 00:38:09,680
Miltie, baby, this is our new discovery.
Don't worry.

177
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:11,500
Bonjour, chérie.

178
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:15,080
How can I do a costume epic when they
don't wear no costumes?

179
00:38:16,380 --> 00:38:17,920
Don't blow the budget on hoop skirts.

180
00:38:18,980 --> 00:38:20,880
Hey, how about a sports expose?

181
00:38:32,650 --> 00:38:35,910
And it all builds to an incredible
climax of payoffs and insights.

182
00:38:39,810 --> 00:38:41,910
A sports picture.

183
00:38:42,910 --> 00:38:49,790
Gamblers, tennis players, groupies,
peoples in all different rooms still

184
00:38:49,790 --> 00:38:55,430
all doing the same thing. Working
towards the same climax.

185
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:20,920
Thank you.

186
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:39,720
No, the subject of sports, I cannot
relate to. It just does not work for me.

187
00:48:40,380 --> 00:48:45,060
However, since you will not buy the idea
of pirate film, I am stuck for a

188
00:48:45,060 --> 00:48:46,060
subject.

189
00:48:48,180 --> 00:48:49,180
Bizarre, that's it.

190
00:48:49,460 --> 00:48:51,420
What's the most outrageous possibility?

191
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:57,820
Let's start with two girls, two
beautiful girls.

192
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The most incredible secret.

193
00:50:08,110 --> 00:50:10,110
I'm more concerned with sensations.

194
00:50:11,030 --> 00:50:15,790
What would happen if we brought two
couples together and...

195
00:51:27,720 --> 00:51:29,680
Look, I won't have that kind of shit in
my movies.

196
00:51:30,300 --> 00:51:34,660
Your other subject intrigues me, but in
a slightly different way.

197
00:53:56,560 --> 00:53:57,560
This is getting us nowhere.

198
00:53:58,360 --> 00:53:59,360
All right.

199
00:53:59,900 --> 00:54:01,120
I've had enough of this.

200
00:54:01,740 --> 00:54:04,040
No more fucking sucking, fucking
sucking.

201
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:07,080
You know what this stands for?

202
00:54:08,220 --> 00:54:10,720
Mucho, orgasms, and sucking.

203
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:13,200
Susie, take control of yourself.

204
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:15,120
Shove it up your armpit.

205
00:54:17,100 --> 00:54:19,140
Well, you want sex?

206
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:21,000
I'll give you sex.

207
00:54:24,340 --> 00:54:25,920
Get with it, little one.

208
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:32,240
Shut up, all of you, and strip.

209
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:36,640
You hot shot writer, you little girl,
and you, get over here.

210
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:40,760
My goodness, Milton, that girl, she's
gone crazy.

211
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:42,760
Work on it.

212
00:54:44,940 --> 00:54:45,940
Milton,

213
00:54:50,740 --> 00:54:51,880
you're going to get it.

214
00:55:19,020 --> 00:55:20,020
Stop kidding.

215
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:21,880
Oh, really?

216
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:29,440
Fabulous.

217
00:55:29,720 --> 00:55:30,720
Fabulous.

218
00:55:40,820 --> 00:55:43,660
Where are you guys? Get in here.

219
00:57:10,740 --> 00:57:11,740
God bless you.

220
00:59:33,770 --> 00:59:34,770
Ah!

221
00:59:35,570 --> 00:59:36,570
Ah!

222
01:00:58,000 --> 01:00:59,000
I'm going to come here.

223
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:02,340
This is the way I like it.

224
01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:04,440
Everyone giving it to everybody.

225
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:08,200
Oh,

226
01:01:11,260 --> 01:01:13,620
yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

227
01:01:14,460 --> 01:01:15,920
Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

228
01:01:16,480 --> 01:01:18,820
Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

229
01:01:19,820 --> 01:01:21,020
Oh, yes.

230
01:02:32,970 --> 01:02:35,330
Okay, Miltie, baby, now it's your turn.

231
01:02:36,290 --> 01:02:37,630
Look out, Miltie.

232
01:02:37,970 --> 01:02:39,070
They're coming for you.

233
01:02:39,630 --> 01:02:40,630
They're not coming for me.

234
01:03:42,670 --> 01:03:43,670
Thank you.

235
01:04:44,759 --> 01:04:47,560
Oh, God.

236
01:05:31,020 --> 01:05:32,060
Oh, my God.

237
01:06:53,960 --> 01:06:55,260
Hey, come on.

238
01:06:58,060 --> 01:06:59,640
Come on.

239
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:36,600
Thank you.

240
01:09:01,950 --> 01:09:05,630
I'm coming, baby. Oh, yeah.

241
01:09:06,270 --> 01:09:07,270
Oh, yeah.

242
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:47,140
Give me my $10 million.

243
01:09:47,560 --> 01:09:48,680
Are you crazy?

244
01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:50,560
Oh, come now.

245
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:52,460
I just did. Now, where's my movie?

246
01:09:52,920 --> 01:09:59,060
In the can, MJ. My associates have been
filming all the time. Filming as it

247
01:09:59,060 --> 01:10:02,080
happened. And you, you are the star.

248
01:10:02,420 --> 01:10:08,280
No, no, you can't do that. I can't be
seen in such... Such what, MJ?

249
01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:12,240
You have given it social redeeming
value.

250
01:10:12,680 --> 01:10:17,460
You have proved, you have proved... to
the world that it is more fun to do than

251
01:10:17,460 --> 01:10:23,620
to watch you approve a positive my wife
my career oh listen the big shot that is

252
01:10:23,620 --> 01:10:30,600
your problem maybe you can use it for a
sequel huh ciao baby oh

253
01:10:30,600 --> 01:10:31,600
my